Do it Now. Don't wait . . .

I’ve lost one of my heroes – Alonzo Shelley.  He was my bishop when I was a teenager. He and his family lived down the street and around the corner from me.  I got to babysit some of their kids before I went to college.  And after we had a family of our own - one of their sons was friends with my oldest and their youngest child was a friend to my older daughter.  Sort of a cross-generational thing. 

He was a good bishop.  And great father figure.  And he taught me a lot by example.  But the one that gained the most from our friendship was my husband Jim.

When we first met Jim wasn’t a member.  I was – but not a very good one.  I didn’t set the best example of the Church and/or its teachings.  However, somewhere, somehow, my beliefs intrigued him.  And he met with the missionaries.  Imagine their delight when they’d finish a discussion, ask “When can you meet with you again?” and his answer was, “What about now?”  Talk about “golden!”

JIm was baptized soon after that.  It broke his parents’ hearts.  His father was a deacon in their congregation and his grandfather was a part-time minister.  So this sudden change of religion did not sit well with them.  We had already decided to get married – hard enough on his mom as he was her only boy.  And now this.  I’m sure that they blamed the whole thing on me.  And it was hard on him, too.  He loved his parents.  And he wanted to do them proud, but they were certain that this wasn’t the way to earn that pride and respect.  They turned their hearts from him.  But only for a while.  

Before he left for basic training and whenever Jim would come home for visits, my then fiancée met with my former (by that time) bishop, Bishop Shelley.  On his front porch, with no one else around.  Just the two of them.  And “my” bishop was giving him a “personal priesthood interview.”  Asking if he was worthy.  Did he study his scriptures, tithe, say his prayers and honor his priesthood.  Did he attend his meetings?  Did he keep his covenants that he made at baptism?  Did he love me?  Did he honor me? 

And then Bishop Shelley would share words of wisdom, guidance and love.  I was, after all, one of “his girls.”  You have no idea what sort of impact this had on my husband-to-be.

So the years passed.  We got married and then moved with Jim’s assignments in the military and school but eventually moved back home.  Bishop Shelley and his family were still in the area.  And those bonds were renewed.  Jim & I both were busy with work, callings, family responsibilities, etc. so didn’t get to spend any real time with them.  But we got to interact with them during church and at ward functions and visits to the temple.  And Jim and I continued to learn from them.  Not so much by the words they said but by the way they treated each other and how they treated the other members of the ward.  With pure love.  The pure love of Christ.

Then Bishop Shelley got sick.  And sicker.  His illness took a terrible toll on him, his loving wife and their family.  And we all knew that the end was near.  And then?  He was gone.

I’ll miss him, but I’m so glad he’s no longer in pain.  And that Sister Shelley now has some relief, too. She was his primary care giver and it was hard on her to watch him as his health failed, the medicines taking away his strength and personality, and make it hard to help him.  But the Lord knew it was time for him to “return with honor” and he did just that.

I’m especially grateful that he had such a positive impact on my husband and on me.  I’m grateful that the good influence that he had on us has been visited on our children.  His words were taken by heart by a good man who did indeed become better and who followed Bishop Shelley’s example when he was called to be bishop. 

Although my heart is filled with gratitude I’m also sad.  But not for the reasons you’d think.

I should have told him, “Thank you”.  Over and over again.  I didn’t tell him that I loved him often enough and that I was glad that he loved me, too.  I’m grateful that he was always such a good example of choosing the right, but I never told him.  And I never told him how his “interviews” and moments with Jim were so appreciated.  And how he influenced a good bishop who in turn influenced so many others.

Is there someone like that in your life?  Someone that you owe a debt of gratitude?  That you need to thank and share with them what they’ve done for you and yours?  If so, tell them.  And thank them.  Before they’re gone, too.  And you have a hole in your heart because you didn’t share your words and thoughts with them.

Our lives on this earth are so short when compared with the eternities that are ahead of us.  And our lives are hard, too. Some harder than others. 

Soften hearts.  Renew ties.  Share love and kindness.  Forgive.  Repent.  Speak kind words from the heart.  And thank them.  Tell them how much they mean to you.  What they’ve done for you when they didn’t even know it.

You won’t regret it if you do, but you will regret it if you don’t.

Bishop Shelley – I love you.  And I will, always and forever, be your Robin Hood.  And you will always be “my bishop”.